Candy Corn = Satan Candy
I just ate a handful of candy corn, and it was by far the most heinous thing I’ve placed in my mouth in a very long time. I received it as part of a Halloween gift bag from a coworker, whom I assume had no idea what filth she had just handed out. The bizarre thing is that I was looking forward to eating it, as I hadn’t had candy corn since middle school. Needless to say, my eagerness to consume this awful variety of candy disappeared after my first swallow.
I’m not quite sure what has happened to my palate over the years, but I distinctly remember eating candy corn as a child and enjoying the ever-loving hell out of it. Hence, I can’t even begin to fathom why it tastes like stale rhinoceros testicles at the age of 28.
Regardless, I highly recommend to anyone over the age of 10 that they avoid candy corn at all costs. It is a truly vile and disgusting candy, and should be wiped from the face of the earth.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
-Mark Annotto
www.armedandridiculous.com
November 1st, 2006 at 9:50 am
I think at the ripe ol’ age of… well, however old the Reverend is… you can pretty much *taste* the diabetes in the things. Not that it’s not a price worth paying for, say, Cadbury Eggs. But the Halloween Tricolour of candy corns? No way, no how…
November 1st, 2006 at 10:40 am
Interesting. I wonder what other foods exist where one can “taste” the diabetes.
??
November 2nd, 2006 at 5:53 pm
Aren’t they made with honey? Shouldn’t that make them healthier than all the high-fructose corn syrup stuff?
November 3rd, 2006 at 1:07 pm
The ingredients of candy corn are as follows:
INGREDIENTS: Sugar, Corn Syrup, Confectioner’s Glaze, Natural and Artificial Flavors, Salt, Artificial Colors, (FDC Yellow 6 Lake, Red #40, Red 40 Lake, Yellow #5, Yellow #6, Blue 1 Lake, Blue #1, Yellow 5 Lake), Egg Whites, Honey Glycerin, Mineral Oil, Carnauba Wax
So no, they’re apparently not healthier. But they do contain Carnauba Wax, and I hear that stuff works wonders for the colon.
For more info:
http://www.candyfavorites.com/shop/shopexd.asp?id=1303